Mothers across the globe are parenting with mom guilt. In this three-part series, we’re examining three major claims against us as mothers.

In this series, our question has been where does the Lord fall on these claims, and if we look, is there encouragement and direction for us?

The first claim we examined is that we do not meet God’s standard for a “perfect parent.” The second claim we considered was that we don’t meet society’s standard for a “perfect parent.” Check out Part One and Part Two on these questions.

What is the third claim against us then? The third claim is that we do not meet our standard for a good parent.

In this third claim, the issue for us is whether we meet our standard, and if not, what should we do?

In a 2017 Good to Know survey of 900 UK moms, about 430 of the participants stated that the majority of mom guilt they experienced came from themselves.

You likely had an idea of the mother you would be or could be. I did. And now, maybe you aren’t that mother.

Maybe you haven’t achieved the home or childhood environment you set out to give your kids, or you aren’t the “type” of mother you set out to be. When we fail to match our ideals as a mother or as a household manager, mom guilt seeps in.

At the risk of repeating myself, to address this issue, we look to the ever-relevant rule, God’s Word. God alone is our judge, our lawgiver and our king. (Isaiah 33:22).

Do we find our ideal “good mother” etched into God’s law?

No, she isn’t there. There is only God’s standard.

Achieving the “type” of motherhood we sought is not a burden from God. Many types of mothers living our different types of motherhoods are equally pursuing God.

God’s “ideal” life for you and me, parenthood included, often looks different from our ideal.

Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

You can let go of that ideal mother. If you’ve carried her for a long time, you can let her go. You can let go of her. (Deuteronomy 6:5). She has nothing to offer you. She is a measurement separate and apart from God’s vision for you.

God has a vision for your life, and he’s pulling you toward it. (Philippians 1:6). Even if the picture of motherhood does not match what you had hoped for so long, his plans are far better than we can imagine. You will see fruit you never would have enjoyed.

He “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” (Ephesians 3:20).

The truth is a lot of us, including me, set out in parenting with an expectation of control we never had, before or after we became mothers.

Motherhood changes a great deal in our lives, but it does not change the level of control we have over our lives.

But, it also does not change who is in control. The God who loves you and is working for you is the one in control.

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9) (emphasis added).

If we can submit our day-to-day to the Lord, he will establish our steps for our good and his glory. “[H]e who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6).

You can let go of that ideal mother. You can let go of her, because God is with you.

Watch or listen to me walk through this article on Tired But Called on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Podcast.