Psychology Today posted an article last year called “The Myth of the Perfect Family Gathering.” In the article, journalist Donna Jackson Nakazawa says, “We’re bombarded [this time of year] by images and expectations from society, social media, and even our own families, pressuring us to create a holiday in which we’re part of a picture-perfect, harmonious family celebrating together without friction.”
Among other things, she says our relationships with extended family can make us reexamine what we think about ourselves. Negative beliefs about ourselves may surface—beliefs like, “I’m a failure,” “I don’t fit in,” or “I have to be perfect.”
Comparing your branch of the family tree to another branch of the family tree can have that effect. Maybe your branch is smaller. I grew up in a single-parent household myself.
This week Christianity Today reported that about 23 million children in the United States grow up in single-parent homes.
NPR reported we have the highest rate of children living in single-parent homes in the world. About 23% of children in the United States live in single-parent households. The worldwide average is 7%.
If you lead a single-parent home or any other type of “nontraditional” household, I want to encourage you that God is working in special ways under your roof, even as you’re sharing that roof with others this Thanksgiving.
In fact, one of God’s names is “Father of the fatherless.” (Psalm 68:5). Psalm 146:9 says, “The Lord … upholds the widow and the fatherless.” God tends to you his flock like a good shepherd. He gathers you in his arms, and he carries you—and he “gently lead[s] those that are with young.” (Isaiah 40:11).
You and your children have support in him. God’s Word shows us that he takes special measures for your family. (Jeremiah 49:11; Deuteronomy 24:20).
As an example, Paul’s beloved disciple Timothy likely grew up in a single-parent household. We know from God’s Word that Timothy was born to a Greek father and Jewish mother. (Act 16:1). The Bible tells us his Jewish mother and grandmother taught him Scripture. (2 Timothy 1:5). When Timothy joined Paul and his ministry at a young age, we find no mention of his father’s approval or disapproval. Later, in Paul’s letters to Timothy, he affectionately calls Timothy “my true child” and “my beloved child.” (1 Timothy 1:2; 2 Timothy 1:2).
We see in Acts that Timothy helped bring many to Jesus directly through his non-traditional upbringing.
Paul came also to Derbe and to Lystra. A disciple was there, named Timothy, the son of a Jewish woman who was a believer, but his father was a Greek. He was well spoken of by the brothers at Lystra and Iconium. Paul wanted Timothy to accompany him, and he took him and circumcised him because of the Jews who were in those places, for they all knew that his father was a Greek. As they went on their way through the cities, they delivered to them for observance the decisions that had been reached by the apostles and elders who were in Jerusalem. So the churches were strengthened in the faith, and they increased in numbers daily.” (emphasis added).
Acts 16:1-5 (emphasis added).
God strengthened the faith of multiple churches and brought people to Christ directly through Timothy’s special family circumstance.
Timothy’s mother and grandmother led Timothy to Christ, and God used Timothy’s heritage to lead an entirely new group of people—Gentiles—to Christ. His story of “I don’t fit in” became his superpower in Christ.
As we celebrate Thanksgiving this year, remember and be encouraged that we serve “the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,” and that includes yours!
Watch or listen to me walk through this article on Tired But Called on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Podcast.
